i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
