apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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