508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
40s are totally the cure
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
