operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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