the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
