I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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