The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I smell like Dick and happiness
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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