C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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