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where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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