My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
