So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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