Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Randomize