toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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