They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
