Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize
