Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
