I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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