He is such a slut. More and more my type.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
