I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
