I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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