It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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