U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
how drunk are you?
Several
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
