Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
