i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
