Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize