wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
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