My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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