If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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