Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize