I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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