i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
