That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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