I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
