what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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