I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
two words...techno handjob
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
My vagina just clenched in fear
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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