I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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