Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
