I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
