You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize
