I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
