If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
