what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
