Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize
