Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
