I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
