I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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