I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
