i may or may not be watching the land before time
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
did i walk over a car last night?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
