If that was your dad, he is hot
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
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