I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
