You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
We need to get me chipped asap
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
