If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
