i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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