Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
My vagina is very pro this idea
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize