What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
