I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
