There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Randomize
