I met the friendliest cop last night
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I just want to make out with him forever
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
