This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
What a dumb baby whore.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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