My brain says no but my pants say off.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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